Often, our goal after matching is meeting them in person and slowly building a connection with mutual interest, objectives, intentions, and consent. Now that you have been chatting with someone you find attractive, fun to talk to, and excited to meet, you would want to look at some safety tips for your first date. Although the following tips appear extreme sometimes, they are for your safety. Remember, the person you want to date should and will be okay with your safety planning if they genuinely care about you.
Have a video chat before meeting to get familiar with the person you will meet.
Ask for their last name, there is no reason for them to be scared to provide that. Search them up before meeting them.
Avoid oversharing.
Have at least a 30-minute conversation on the phone before meeting them.
Drive or take Uber/taxi – take yourself there and plan your ride home.
Tell a friend or a family member where you are going, what time, name, and picture of your date.
Plan a safety plan with a friend, through an emoji, a phrase, a code word, etc.
If you arrive and you feel uncomfortable, leave!
Avoid suggesting a place to meet that is your regular hangouts.
Tell them you have somewhere to be after the date to avoid any expectations.
Search and get familiar with the name, number, and address of the location for your first date.
Ask to use the bathroom and call a friend or the number of the place you are at if you need assistance, or things go south.
If you drive to your date and feel that you are being followed, drive to the closest police or fire station.
Always meet in public.
Avoid or minimize alcohol consumption.
If your date pressures you or disrespects your boundaries, that’s a red flag.
Set personal limits for your first date:
If you decide not to get intimate on your first date, set your boundaries.
If you decide to get intimate on your first date; you should consider condoms, lubes, safe sex practice, testing, boundaries, and set boundaries to what you want to practice.
Don’t leave your drink unattended.
Have cash and a card in case you need to take an emergency taxi and you need cash.
Charge your phone before leaving the house.
If you believe you are being followed to your apartment, do not turn on the lights right away when you walk in.
Trust Your Instincts … they tell you to leave, then leave.
Moment of Reflection:
Now, I want you to remember the last bad date you had. Rewind and think of the safety tips provided above.
What would you have done differently?
Do you find these safety tips helpful?
Do you believe that those tips would have made it a better or safer experience if you followed them/known them before?
Do you have a friend who is in the dating world?
What is stopping you from sharing this blog with her?
Safety Flags Are To Keep You Safe And Not To Stop You From Dating
While bad dates are common, there are green flags to pay attention to on a first date. I am going to list a few, and I challenge you to reflect on your experiences and goals then list three to five more green flags you look for in a relationship/partner.
You feel safe being authentic.
You don’t feel judged.
Feel accepted and comfortable.
Respecting your boundaries.
Does not pressure you to stay longer, to change plans, or get picked up or dropped off.
Appears happy/pleased to see you.
Makes respectful and genuine compliments.
Conversation is flowing.
You don’t feel that you are uncomfortable or want the date to end.
An active listener.
Good laughs.
And the rest is for you to determine.